Faith and Change

If you were to die in six months, would you change anything about your life?

For me, this answer is yet to be determined. 

The fact of the matter is, we all come across things we’d rather not experience or go through. We all meet people who tear us to pieces when they leave and we all wish we would’ve been nicer to someone or made time for a recently departed loved one. Yes, most of us have regrets. 

But as I sat snuggled in the middle of my two little boys watching Zootopia for about the billionth time (my toddler’s current favorite), this question kept interrupting my thoughts. Would I, in fact, change anything in my life knowing my death was near?

Naturally I thought of my little family. Of course I’d want them taken care of. Our things are in order for that. I’d want to travel, because I LOVE to travel to see and experience new places and people that feed my inspiration to write. I’d also make sure to get my fill of everything I enjoy in life; food, places, and people alike. 

The more I thought about it, the more I realized that the things I was thinking about were more classic desires and needs. But what would I change about myself on a deeper level? 

No one knows when their time is up here, and far too often, especially recently, many are gone much too soon. Some live exceptionally full lives in a short time while others are exceptionally ordinary and there is nothing wrong with that. I believe I will be in the latter category. 

One thing I would try to change in that six months would be to work extra hard to find my faith again. My faith has been shaken terribly in recent years and even though I put in the effort to go to church and try to find solace, I find myself in a flurry of confusion. We’ve all been dealt some bad cards in life and though I’ve accepted most things, I still find myself trying to figure out the plan for my life, unable to fully put it in the hands of God. 

That would be my major change and I would do it for me. 

A woman I didn’t know but have come to know through facebook lost her battle to cervical cancer yesterday. Twenty five years old, wife and mother to 3 young children. Her faith in God’s plan for her was amazing despite knowing there was a good chance her children would grow up without their mother. 

Her battle lasted just shy a year as she was diagnosed in December 2015. Stage 3. 

Her story (remarkable – check out her page TeamMeg) will certainly open your eyes to the strength we are capable of even in the midst of fighting for our lives.

But enough of the deep love. It’s time to snuggle my youngest and get him to sleep!